Wednesday, February 14, 2007

graham bowles was robbed!

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. While watching Iron Chef this past week, I couldn't get over one of the judges, the incredibly annoying Karine Bakhoum. She is to Bobby Flay what Suzyn Waldman is to the Yankees — that is, an overly ingratiating homer you want to bitchslap.

It turns out Kariney is Flay's former publicist! I'm already in the mindset that Flay wins ways more often than he deserves to on this show. Other Iron Chefs and competitors don't get the credit for taking chances and risks, while Flay coasts on what he knows. It doesn't help that Flay has a massive ego and his latest show, Throwdown just compounds the fact. How arrogant can one person be?

The secret ingredient for Bowles vs. Flay was chocolate. I thought Graham Bowles put together a really interesting meal and presented it beautifully - something Flay gets way too much credit for usually. One of Flay's desserts in contrast was a sickly looking dark chocolate and raspberry parfait that was melting and dripping all over the place. Aren't parfaits supposed to have discernible layers? The dessert looked like it came from a baby's diaper. Looking at another one of his dishes, a napoleon type thingy made with unsweetened chocolate pancakes limply stacked, also made me uncomfortable.

Chef Bowles is presenting his food and Karine could care less. He's taking her away from Bobby time. You know that cartoon where the wolf's eyes pop out of their sockets and become hearts? That was Karine B. when she was talking about Bobby Flay. She gushed and cooed like a girl with a schoolyard crush, completely going over the top in her praise. I'm sure she wanted to caress Bobby's red hair and hold him in her bosom and feed him peeled grapes. It was enough to make you want to barf.


Oh my god, I think she's on par with Missy Yum-O herself.

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Friday, February 02, 2007

yes, hello?

i'm pretty sure i get at least one wrong number call a day. i just had the following conversation with ms. (XXX)635-0915 (i'm not that big a jerk).

me: hello?
wnd (wrong number douche): hello?
me: hello?
wnd: yes, hello?
me: hellooooo?
wnd: yes, hello?
me: HELLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOO?
wnd: yes, hell...(click)

why do people so easily forget that they are the ones who are initiating the call and therefore should be asking for someone instead of repeating back hello?

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Tuesday, January 02, 2007

it's only january 2 and i am already full of hate

1. man on the subway platform at atlantic/pacific: as the doors were about to open, this guy came from nowhere, to not just cut off the people who were waiting at the sides to enter, but also to cut me off before i could exit! asshole!!!

2. dumb-dumb barista: i've been carrying around this giftcard to starbucks for over a year now and always forget to use it. this morning, i decided to cash it on for a coffee and one of these new controversial breakfast sandwiches. (check the gastronome for a review shortly). i order just that from the dumb-dumb behind the counter. i get my coffee and then i'm waiting. and waiting. after 5 or 6 minutes, i still don't have my sandwich, so i go back up to her and ask how much longer it's going to be for my sandwich. she shrugs and points to the women next to her. "no, i orderd it from you," i say. "oh, i only make drinks," she tells me. thanks for letting me know when i ordered, asshole.

3. not sure who gets blamed for this, but nice to return to work and find out we have no paper in the office. good one.

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Thursday, September 21, 2006

i am easily annoyed

and here's a list of what's been annoying me the past couple days:

the fan sitting beind me at the mets game on monday who insisted on doing to the two finger whistle directly into my ear. also he was the loudest talker ever, and i know some very loud talkers.

working on a pc. my computer died last week and now i'm temporarily on an ibm thinkpad, which i am not enjoying at all. pcs suck.

the three dudes by the back bar at bowery ballroom last night, talking over eric bachmann. i don't mind if people talk at shows, but at least have the courtesy to be quieter than the person on stage. also, why not go downstairs to the bar and chat away all you want without the band interfering?

ate at the jones last night, but at one point during the night i referred to it as the Great Jones and that really annoyed me since that is not the name, but the street it's on.

the couple sitting perpendicular to me on the subway - dude with the velour track suit doing the most obnoxious, loudest gum chew ever. squish, squish, crack, squish. missy tanning salon next to him wasn't any better either.

oh and the H key on this computer is really tempermental.

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Monday, July 10, 2006

you suck

CROCS
You're sitting on some rooftop in LA and there's a superstar (well some might call him a superstar) sitting next to you, a vision in beige and neutral tones totally air-bassing. It's embarassing. But what makes it more embarassing is that you look at his feet and he has crocs on!!!!

TOP ME OFF!!!
Today I made the mistake of saying yes, when the coffee maker, I mean barista or barrister, whatever they like to call themselves asked me if I wanted room for milk in my iced coffee. When she handed me the plastic cup, there was a good inch between coffee and the lid. Exactly how much milk does she think I'm going to use? I asked her top it off. Twice. I would have asked her a third time, but I was growing weary. After I put my milk in, I still had plenty of dead space. So annoyed.

ZINEDINE ZIDANE
Are you the stupidest human being alive? I think you are. You totally blew it, you dumbass. Imagine what people who were rooting for France must think!

TUMMY ACHES
This has been a bad week for my stomach.

ME AT BOCCE YESTERDAY
Man, did I stink it up. Honestly, my head wasn't in the game and I know I was totally distracted by the Home Run Derby, which I normally do not care an ounce about, but David Wright hit like 16 in the first round and then I got all into it. Sorry team.

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Friday, May 19, 2006

another wrong number

a few moments ago, but this time when i answered the phone, the voice on the other line asked for a person, rather than echo me. the person also said sorry and then hung up. it really doesn't take much to make me happy.

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Thursday, May 18, 2006

FUCK YOU WRONG NUMBER

Got a wrong number phone call just now. This is how our conversation went:

Me: Hello?
Stupid Woman: Hello?
Me: Hello!
Stupid Woman Douchebag Bitch: Hello?
Me: Hello.
Stupid Twat: Hello?
Me: Are you going to say...(click)

Stupid twatty douchebag bitch hung up on me. Incensed, I called her back only she didn't answer the phone.

I'm going to keep calling her until she picks up the phone to let her know that usually when someone says hello, you should respond with something more than just a hello back. Remember YOU CALLED ME! And on top of that, when you dial a wrong number, it's pretty nice to say you're sorry before you hang up the phone.

718.221.1132 is the fuckface's number.

Anyone else who wants to teach her a manners lesson, please go ahead.

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Wednesday, November 03, 2004

fuck you ohio and florida

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Tuesday, September 21, 2004

eat fresh

really annoying things that have happened to me on the subway recently:
1. someone ate tunafish for breakfast in the car i was in
2. someone sitting next to me clipped their fingernails with nary a care in the world
3. someone this morning was leaning so far in against the open frame by the doors that her back was pretty much touching my face.
4. the man sitting by me reeked of pee. he was not homeless.

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